The Exit Sign

            It happens every now and then in worship.   A piece of music, a prayerful phrase, it could be the printed liturgy or an ancient creed.   Something will come along and touch my heart in that deep place I keep hidden behind my professional persona.  Preachers are supposed to cry only on cue, for affect, to manipulate emotions; at least that is what I hear they teach at Televangelist school (just kidding!).  

             My sense of responsibility to my role as worship leader is acute.  Worship is not about me it’s about the One whom we worship.  I avoid making my emotions the center of attention. My job is to point to the reality of God not to run my personal agendas. 

            Of course this is an artificial separation. 

            Once in seminary, full of righteous bravado, I bragged that my faith in God came before all else in my life, including my family, my church and Bonnie my wife.  With more wisdom than I had displayed, Bonnie waited until we were alone to ask me pointedly about the comment.  "And where do you think God is? If not in our marriage where can God be found?"!  I've never forgotten the lesson or its truth.

            Of course, God is present and active in my life and "my personal agenda".  Certainly alive in our marriage!   Thus if and when appropriate the sharing of emotion could, in fact, be a powerful moment of worship...if it points to the reality of God in my life.

            As an introvert I do not come quickly to emotions.  I have also had to learn to deal with empathy.  Formed in my earliest years, I am very sensitive to the feelings and needs of others, sometimes too much so.  Goes with the territory for most "helping professionals".   We are the "wounded healers" after all (Nouwen).  

            I wouldn't say I avoid emotion while leading worship but I am cautious. A fact that carries over to most parts of my life.

            This Easter Sunday I was unprepared for my emotional response.  Leading the 8:00am service, I stood with the congregation as the lay reader asked us to sing the good, old standard "Christ the Lord is Risen Today!".   As I popped up from behind the pulpit the first stanza was like a strong wind, it almost blew me back; "...Ha-lle-lu-jah!"

            I made a commitment to the ordained ministry when I was 18 years old.  I was ordained in 1976.   I have lead worship under the appointment of a Bishop since 1979.  I have sung "Christ the Lord is Risen Today!" hundreds of times.  And yet this time, it opened my heart like a can of Pringles.

            My guess would be that only another preacher can truly understand what a privilege it is to lead a worship service, especially on an Easter morning.  I am as frail and failed, as gifted and worthy as anyone else there yet, by the Grace of God I have been called to lead.   We get to study, teach and articulate the hopes and fears of all the years.  We get to receive the unwarranted adoration and twisted projections of those we are called to serve.   We get to spend our measure of time and talent falling in love with those whom we will bless, marry and bury.   Some will love us in return; some will lie to our faces and can't wait to get to the church parking lots to curse our existence.

            It’s the greatest job in the world!

            The mistake I made on Easter wasn't to get all choked up over the hymn but to begin looking at the faces of the people.   Mr. Smith is going through a divorce.  Mrs. Jones was just diagnosed with cancer.   Billie Jean is pregnant and doesn't know how it happened or the father.    John will enter Hospice care on Monday, it will be his last Easter.

            If I stop my "professional responsibilities" as worship leader and actually begin to remember and feel what it is that the people gathered are going through, for me it is almost overwhelming.   I would stop dead in my tracks. I wouldn't be able to function. I would either sob uncontrollably or walk out of the service.  At least that is my fantasy.  And on this Easter, I was weeping, sniffling and could hardly breathe. 

            When this happens, and it has happened many times in all of the churches I have served, I find the Exit Sign at the back of the church.    Thank God for County and State building codes that require Exit Signs at the back of churches!   I focus on the Exit Sign.  Speak to it.  Look only at it.    And finally I can settle down and tuck my feelings back inside.

            Is my use of the Exit Sign strategy emotional cowardice, a sophisticated disassociation or a savvy technique born out of self-knowledge?  

           Yes.

            I do know this.   My personal emotions did not distract from what was a wonderful worship experience for hundreds of people.   Out of those hundreds of people a handful will come back and find a church home; some will make personal decisions affecting their lives in positive ways; one or two will actually end up making a significant positive difference in their communities as a result.  

            Most will mark the Easter service as a lovely concert and lecture that wasn't too difficult to endure before the brunch and "it made Mom happy for us all to be there!"

            For this preacher, it was a powerful reminder...a celebration really... of the on-going miracle of God in my life.  And for some there, they actually noticed me pointing to the God in theirs.

Eulogy Etiquette

What do we say when asked to speak at a loved one's funeral or memorial service? 

It happens every now and then, that in the death of a friend or family member we are asked to speak on their behalf during the service to mark their passing.  This can be a great honor, an opportunity to give comfort to the bereaved and a chance to lift up the best qualities of someone we really cared about.

Or such a request can be perceived as an overwhelming moment of vulnerability and pain.   In the middle of our own grief, we are asked to endure a public speaking moment which, for most, is uncomfortable and for many, terrifying.

Think long and hard about saying 'yes' to such a request.   If it would take away from your own grieving experience and the significant moment of community support and celebration of life that funerals and memorials services can bring…don't do it.  This is especially true for the spouses and children of the dead.  It is not written anywhere that you have to speak at your loved one's funeral.  There are no rules requiring such a moment.  If you feel compelled to greet and thank all those gathered, or share your thoughts about your loved one, write it out and have someone else read your words during the service.   If the thought and pressure of speaking at that moment fills you with dread, be gentle with yourself, you are already going through enough having lost one of the most important people in your life.

If it does feel right for you to speak at a loved one's service here are some suggestions that might help from one who is in this situation with some regularity.

-Giving an effective eulogy doesn't require a PhD or toastmasters training.  It is your life experience and generous heart that qualifies you to speak in such a moment.  As you begin your remarks, don't spend anytime apologizing for your lack of public speaking experience.

-Speak more about the deceased than yourself.  It's easy to get lost in your own reflections at such a moment but it’s about them, not about you.   Focus on the deceased's history, character and beliefs, not your own.   The general rule is with the use of the first-person pronoun.   If "I"' is used more than the name of the deceased, you've forgotten why you are there!

-Emotion is absolutely ok to share.  If you find yourself overwhelmed at any moment, don't hesitate to stop, take a drink of water, blow your nose, whatever it takes to breathe and calm down.  Everyone there is pulling for you and probably sharing those same feelings.  Laughter, tears and even anger if it is genuine and points to the loss of your friend/family member is absolutely appropriate.   But never if it is meant to illustrate your eloquence.

-Don't say anything about your friend/family member that you wouldn't say if he/she were standing by your side.  A eulogy is not the time tell the person's secrets.

-Remember this variation of the KISS Principle; "Keep It Simple and Short"   The significance of a life will never be summed up in such a moment.  We can only point to it.  In the reception or days that follow such a service, friends and family will continue the sharing of memories and stories.  It doesn't all have to be said in your allotted time.  No one remembers a word of Edward Everett's two hour speech at Gettysburg in 1863 and no one will ever forget President Abraham Lincoln's Address that followed and lasted only two minutes.

At the time of the death of a significant person in our lives we need a chance to say 'good-bye'.   To do so in the company of family and friends can be a powerful experience of healing and hope.   Whether that happens at a religious site, a public hall, in a park or at the beach doesn't matter so much as the sincere good will we bring to that moment.

For those asked to speak on behalf of the dead and choose to do so, we are given an opportunity to share a profound moment of love.   It is an honor to be sure and it can be a blessing for our own journey of grief.

Provocation

All through the Cannes Grand Prize winning movie "Of God and Men" (Sony Pictures, 2011), I was irritated. 

This brilliant film depicts the life of a French cloister of 8 Cistercian monks in the mountains of Algeria.  It is set in the 1990's when Muslim extremists terrorized the nation with random and brutal acts of violence.   Although fellow Muslims are the targets of such atrocities Algerian government and military officials warn the brothers that they eventually will be victims as well.   They cannot protect them.   The officials urge them to go back to France.  The town’s people ask them to stay.

The monastery had been in its mountain location for over a century.  Tibhirine, a small village, had grown around it.  The friars offer its poor people medical care, clothing and employment.   The monks interact with their neighbors, attend their festivals, speak their language and clearly admire the links between the Islamic faith and their own.   We see scenes of the men at worship, prayer and the communal work of their monastic life.  It is simple, austere and genuine. 

As the violence comes closer and closer to them, the monks hold a series of group discussions leading to their vote whether to stay or leave.    No one seeks martyrdom.  They are afraid.  They love life and each other.  Yet to leave would seem a capitulation to the insanity of the terrorists, the corruption of the government and an abandonment of their neighbors, whom they have loved and served for years.   "What would Jesus do?"   In spite of the risks they decide to stay.

The life and love of this cloistered community makes the tragedy of their situation all the more compelling.  Yet throughout the film I wanted to yell out...."But, you are French!"   The history of oppression during the French colonization of Algeria and the brutal response by the French to the 1960's liberation war that lead to Algerian independence is barely suggested in the film.

For decades African colonies were victims of gross exploitation of labor and raw materials.  The wealth of France, Belgium, Portugal, Great Britain and Germany was built on this exploitation.  French African colonies were notoriously structured by racism and violence.  The poverty, corruption and autocracy found today in the former African colonies were left in wake of colonialism.  As admirable is the sacrifice and compassion of the monks, it seemed naive to the point of arrogance.   These are French men, the remnant and reminder of the roots of colonialism. 

"Isn't their presence and pious insistence a provocation?" I asked my beloved after the credits had finished rolling.  To which she replied instantly, "Is Kitty a provocation?"

Her insight took my breath away and silenced my righteous indignation.  (Not the first time in my 37 years of marriage with this brilliant woman!)

Just a month before we had visited Nicaragua as members of an Assessment Team from our local and regional church looking for opportunities to be in solidarity for future mutual collaboration.  We encountered a number of outstanding non-profit programs supporting rural and community self-development and health care.  

Central America's history of economic, political and military dominance by the United States has been, and can be argued remains, de facto colonialism.   Nicaragua fought a war of liberation against a brutal USA sponsored military dictatorship.  It has survived a USA sponsored decade-long counter revolutionary war in the effort to overthrow Nicaragua's first democratically elected government.

One of the most engaging programs we visited in Nicaragua was Casa Materna, a transition home for poor, rural women with high risk pregnancies.  Working with a network of health educators, rural mid-wives and local government hospitals in a holistic program of material and child health, this Christian based non-profit agency has helped nearly 15,000 women give birth to healthy children in the last twenty years.

One of the founders of Casa Materna is a former Maryknoll Nun named Kitty.  She came from Michigan during the Sandinista revolution in the 1980's to be in solidarity with the Nicaraguan people while her own nation waged a guerilla war against them.  She has never left, giving her life as a medical social worker to the work of serving poor women in the mountains of Nicaragua with extraordinary humility, humor and faith.

Is this good friend, a beloved sister in the faith, a citizen of the USA...a nation that has all but colonized Central America for the last century....is Kitty "a provocation"?

Benjamin Linder, a Jewish volunteer born in California, grew up in Oregon and educated in Washington was killed by a Contra ambush in 1987 while working to install a small hydro-electric generator for a poor village in the Nicaraguan mountains.  Did he provoke his own murder?  No, of course not. 

Held up against the value of human life, political violence needs no excuse.   Neither in the end does it seek justification.  Its declared rationale is hollow at best, hypocritical in the least.  Once unleashed it generates a momentum of its own, sweeping innocents in its path, disregarding if not betraying any possible original intent for good.

Then again, maybe those who "...seek justice, love kindness and walk humbly with God..." (Micah 6) will always provoke the powerful or those who seek power.  That was certainly true for Jesus of Nazareth, the teacher emulated by the Cistercian monks of Algeria and Kitty of Nicaragua.         

Los Altos Town Crier - Bridging over troubled waters: Local efforts amass

Los Altos Town Crier - Bridging over troubled waters: Local efforts amass

Check out this link to an article in our Town Crier that I took part in regarding local efforts to assist Japan's disaster victims. It also has info on how ANYONE can help our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Just to Be

February 25, 2011

Matagalpa, Nicaragua

God of compassion,

 When I hesitate to be with another, strengthen me.

When I question the quality of my presence, assure me.

When I want to show my worth through actions, humble me.

When I forget the beauty of a loving presence, remind me.

When I run away from the call to be there, bring me back.

Just to be a blessing.

Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Our Life: A Guide for Spiritual Growth

 (Ave Marie Press, 1997, p. 128)

For the compassionate when confronted with the reality of poverty and the challenges of development in a nation such as Nicaragua a sense of overwhelm comes quickly.  North Americans want to fix things.  We are an energetic and resourceful people who want to do something when we find a problem.

One aspect of that sense of compassion overwhelm is that Nicaragua, and many nations like it, have no shortage of energetic and resourceful people of their own who are also eager to address their problems.  What stands in the way from achieving their aspirations for the future isn’t lack of faith or commitment.  It may be hard for us to hear but we North Americans may have little to contribute that Central Americans don’t already have.

They don’t want our charity.  But they might welcome our solidarity.

There is a significant difference between the two.  

Certainly there might be appropriate technological inputs that we could share.  Certainly there could be the appropriate investment of capital; North American and European wealth was established on the transfer of capital….labor and natural resources….during the colonial period from the central Americas and southern hemisphere in general.  These economic structures are maintained in a variety of forms today so that appropriate capital investment would not only be strategic but fair.

But the essentials for national or community development aren’t based on either technology or capital, as important as either can be.  Rather as has been the experience in the development of any successful community….by which we mean that its people have a sufficient and self-sustaining economy that provides sustenance to promote health and the opportunity for its individuals to freely thrive as human beings….leadership, social cooperation and the empowerment of local populations for self-development by education and free participation make all the difference.  For example, the gross failure of the Soviet Union proves that merely the presence of technology and capital does not a nation or community make!

Since the overthrow of the USA backed Somoza dictatorship in 1979, Nicaragua has endured a revolution, a counter-insurgency war (financed and equipped by the USA), significant natural disasters, political corruption and decreasing international aid.   Thirty-one years later Nicaragua’s GNP is growing, its infant mortality and maternal death rates are falling yet it remains an impoverished nation where one-third of its population lives on less than 1 US$ per day.

For visitors such this writer, on a team of medical personnel assessing the possibilities of future collaboration between Nicaraguan NGOs and our regional churches, a subtle and profound truth has been shared in the form of a development slogan:

If you want to help us, stay home.  If you see your liberation bound up in ours, then come and stand with us.

North Americans may have technologies and capital to share but they don’t have all the answers for a developing country such as Nicaragua.  The only answers to be found that are relevant and lasting will be those found by the Nicaraguan people themselves.    Thus leadership development, social cooperation and the empowerment of local populations for self-development by education and free participation have got to be the priority to address structural issues that result in poverty and these can’t be supplied by well meaning North Americans.

In general, North American NGOs may be all set to come into local communities to do a variety of projects, but unless and until local leadership has prepared for them, asked for them and planned for the consequences of their implementation such well meaning projects can at best be irrelevant and at worst harmful.

For example, a well intentioned NGO may be all ready to come into a village and donate a tractor.  But unless the local community has agreed that such a technological input is actually appropriate for their agricultural and environmental conditions, that there is a plan to fuel and repair it, train its users, store it when not in use the tractor may just as quickly end up rusting in a field.  Substitute “water well”, “new contraceptive device”, or “solar panel” to the scenario.  

Volunteer project teams from the USA have become a multi-million dollar tourist industry often directed by well meaning North American NGOs.   Teams that don’t speak the language, don’t take the time to consider the history and context of the reality they visit and leave without establishing any on-going relationship with those they seek to serve may enjoy a week’s hardship and a sense of accomplishment in the completion of a project for their own personal and/or community affirmation but do little to contribute to community development.

Solidarity, on the other hand, is based on listening, openness and dialogue between equal partners.  It takes time and investment in relationship building.   For the North American it is based on the hopes and decision making of the local communities rather than on North American agendas.  In the end it will be solidarity that will contribute to the end of hunger and poverty in the developing world, not charity.

Rupp’s prayer reminds us that all too often, at home, at work, at school and in what we often call “missions” we seek to prove our worth through our actions rather than the time-consuming process of  “presence with another”  in their context, with them as equals.  

A director of a comprehensive development NGO here in Nicaragua told us the story of a Christian organization that organizes teams from the USA to come in a rural village to paint a school. The goal of their week was the photograph of the team at the end when they could show their churches back home the newly painted buildings.  The goal wasn’t to learn why Nicaraguans are so poor or what they aspire to with formal education.  In fact the team stayed with each other most of the time as if on an exotic camping trip.  Last summer this Christian organization had five different teams spend a week each painting the same school buildings again and again. 

There may be appropriate times for charity; natural disasters come to mind.  But if we North Americans want to contribute to the future promise of a world where all of God’s children have enough, it is solidarity that our brothers and sisters are seeking in the tropical world….at least that is what we heard again and again from our partners in Nicaragua.

If you want to help us, stay home.  If you see your liberation bound up in ours, then come and stand with us.

Maybe the first step is to realize that we North American are in as much need of liberation as our development counterparts.   If that be the case that they have as much to teach us and we have to share with them.   Rupp’s prayer can be a beginning.

Only

February 22, 2011

Matagalpa, Nicaragua

In his orientation to the six members of our United Methodist Volunteer in Mission (UMVIM) Team Dr. Francisco Gutierrez of the Accion Medica Christiana (Christian Medical Action) outlined the current status of health care in Nicaragua by citing numerous statistical studies.  These reports suggested that since 1995 infant mortality, maternal death and malnutrition rates had all improved in this Central American country of 5.4 million people.  These statistical benchmarks are used internationally within the health community and by governmental and non-governmental (NGOs) funding agencies.  Nicaraguan progress in healthcare had not reached targeted goals but there were definite improvements in their nation’s health and healthcare system.

One of the challenges that NGOs such as AMC face is that organizations like the World Bank and the IMF (International Monetary Fund) appraise their funding to developing nations on macro-statistics such as those cited.  For example, Per Capita Income (PCI) is a mathematical formula by which the Gross National Product (GNP) of a nation is divided by the total of their population.   In Nicaragua’s case GNP and PCI have increased in the last fifteen years.  Ironically this has resulted in decreases of international funding to Nicaragua, especially to their health programs, as such funding has been redirected to other nations with lowering GNPs.  These formulas may seem logical expect for the reality that PGI is not distributed equally in any nation.  In the case of Nicaragua the gap between rich and poor has increased dramatically within those same fifteen years in which their GNP has grown.  Dr. Gutierrez concludes that Nicaragua’s healthcare targets have not been reached in part due to this decrease in international funding inherently based to avoid or ignore the disparities in wealth distribution in a developing nation such as Nicaragua.

Working with the National Ministry of Health, AMC is doing fantastic, pioneering work in community health education and promotion with his nation’s poorest of the poor.  Despite their progress such a presentation was no cause for celebration for Dr. Gutierrez, no moment of boasting, no moment of satisfaction at the process of his life’s work. 

We can imagine the planners of the World Bank and IMF reviewing the statistics of Nicaragua and concluding that today “only” 40% of the population of Manuagua, Nicaragua’s capital city of 1.5 million, lives at the “extreme poverty level” of one US Dollar a day or that “only” 80% of the rural 350,000 inhabitants of the Matagalpa District survive in such poverty when fifteen years ago the rates were higher.

“Only”.

 Can a Pediatrician boast that the infant mortality rate for his nation had dropped from 25% to 18% in the same period of time?  As if 18% of the Nicaraguan children dying before the age of five is an “only” compared to the 25% of fifteen years ago?  There may be some doctors who could but this Pediatrician, Dr. Gutierrez wouldn’t or couldn’t.

Most who read this will have no idea what it must be like to live wondering if your children are going to eat tomorrow.  I know I don’t.  I can’t even imagine what it must be like to live in such a reality, who I’d be and what choices I would make to insure my children’s survival.  Those medical doctors who have dedicated  their lives to working with just such people, the 20% of the world’s population who live on a one US dollar a day (UNDF), do so not for accolades or momentary satisfactions, although both may come their way. 

My hunch is that until the day arrives that all of God’s children have enough to eat, a decent place to live and access to health care Dr. Gutierrez will not celebrate any statistical markers besides 0.

He, like others throughout time, has been compelled by God’s promised future, “the Reign of God” as Jesus put it, a future where everyone has enough.  That’s why they do this work.  That’s why they don’t give up.   

In 1974, it was estimated that 40,000 people….mainly women and children…died each day of malnutrition and nutrition related diseases.  40,000 a day.   Today, the United Nations World Health Organization estimates that number to be 24,000.  Big improvement to be sure.  Things are getting better, yes.  “Only” 24,000.

“Only”?

Potters for Peace

February 20, 2011

San Juan de Oriente, Nicaragua

Very few potters in the world can make a living at it.  Rather most are domestic crafts persons who in fashioning functional ware for food preparation and storage have found a means of self-expression.   The techniques are passed down generations.  Each will take to the clay either as chore or passion.  Some are good.  Some do the minimal.  All extend this ancient and very human art form.

What could be more artistic than adding the symbols of nature, tradition or faith to the form and decoration of the cup that will hold the drink that nurtures, the bowl that serves the meal that will sustain, the lidded jar that will store something as precious as holiday wine or next season’s seeds?

Whether consciously or not potters transform the most common materials…..earth, water and fire….into useful and at times beautiful instruments of transformation and in so doing offer us the user the chance to touch and taste the life grounded in the living earth.

While on a medical assessment team to Nicaragua we ran into and learned about Potters for Peace (PFP).

 Potters for Peace is a U.S. based nonprofit, a network of potters, educators, technicians, supporters, and volunteers. Founded in Nicaragua in 1986, PFP works with clay artisans in Central America and worldwide on ceramic water purification projects.  PFP is a unique organization devoted to socially responsible development and grass roots accompaniment among potters.  Its goals are to offer support, solidarity and friendship to developing world potters; to assist with appropriate technologies sustained using local skills and materials; to help preserve cultural traditions; and to assist in marketing locally, regionally and internationally. The vast majority of potters in Central America are rural women and the core work for Potters for Peace has always been assisting these hard-working people to earn a better living.

 Every day 5,000 children die due to unsanitary water (WHO 2005). Since 1998 Potters for Peace has traveled the world teaching the fabrication of a low-cost ceramic water filters that can bring clean, potable water to those who need it most. PFP does not make, store or distribute ceramic water filters nor does it operate filter production facilities. Instead, PFP assists responsible local partners to set up filter production and distribution facilities, now in 33 countries in the tropical world. (www.pottersforpeace.org).

It should not be surprising, although it was, that potters across the borders of culture and language would work together to empower local artists in developing communities by transforming earth, water and fire into the means of health and healing.  They’ve been doing just that for millennium.

For this pastor/potter PFP inspires me once again to consider God at work when our hands create and reach out.